The waiting…

Another week’s gone by… in many ways, flown by, yet instead of feeling better (or even normal) I have been feeling progressively worse since the past few days. I keep getting reminded of my acupuncturist’s advice of seeing a therapist. Even though I am very sure cognitive therapy is not my cup of tea, I haven’t yet made the effort to get in touch with a qualified hypnotherapist either. I don’t know what is stopping me–the financial aspect, the whole regurgitating of what seems to have been tucked away (or has it?!) or just the sheer exhaustion that seems to surround this whole topic.

We’ve done our best for the month now it’s all about the wait. Only I don’t want to wait. I don’t want to wake up each day navigating the dense mass of expectations-meet-apprehensions that seems to perpetually surround me nowadays. I’d rather just be busy and so occupied, physically and mentally, that I have no time to think or feel. Denial is my new best friend.

I have been extremely tired of late. Physically tired, that is. The yoga I have started since last week is absolutely fantastic and that, combined with the pottery are doing their bit to keep me sane yet the exhaustion is very real. Part of it is just not being able to sleep through the night. Allergies are at an all-time high. My nose (hugely disproportionate to begin with) is an absolute brat, refusing to cooperate.

It’s the spouse’s birthday today… despite my best intentions I ended up crying today and he was adorable enough to leave work early just to spend time with me and reassure me how everything was going to be okay. And then I wonder about my luck!

Well… off to get ready for dinner. PCOS diet, eat your heart out ’cause tonight I will eat whatever I want… and that includes lamb shank with orzo, grilled octopus and warm chocolate cake.

:))

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