Tainted red

So this morning I got my period. I had the slightest bit of pink spotting last night when I wiped which actually had me feeling positive because I never spot and certainly not with white CM. However, the positivity was in vain. Had a terrible backache all night and morning pee revealed AF in all her scarlet glory.

And so we went over our monthly routine. The flood gates were lowered, the tear ducts called into action and a veritable arsenal of Kleenex stood on hand. My back hurts, my stomach hurts but most of all my bloody heart hurts. I scream silently to whoever should be listening. I rant in helpless frustration. I pour my grief out in shuddering sobs. It soaks my pillow, it takes home in my shirt sleeve and it crawls all over my face. Yet I am never quite done. Like an unsatiated demon, I find no tears worthy enough to express the rawness of my disappointment.

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