Had my hypnotherapy session today. Felt calmer after the session. K was so upset the whole day I sent him off to work with a smile; his pinched little face just breaks my heart. He gets so sad and unlike me, he doesn’t even have a release. While I bawl the house down he gets all engrossed in finding some way, any way, of trying to make the tears stop. His eyes brim with love and concern and its all I can do to not cry even harder knowing that my poor baby just doesn’t deserve this.
I got back home and busied myself preparing lunch. I felt a little better after eating and then put on some mindless TV. I thought the Kardashians would help me take my mind off things but a very pregnant Kourtney just made me feel way worse. All kinds of women in the world get pregnant in a heartbeat and here I end up on the couch with my feet up, trying hard to ignore the cramps and the bleeding.
I’m not going to let this get us down though. We’re not giving up. This is just a blip. After all this whole year this is just our third cycle of trying. The first one we conceived and since then its just our second time. What is important is to focus ahead and, in the meantime, relax and enjoy life for all the blessings it gives us every day. Let’s hope we can do it!