I am a 36 year old Indian woman living in Northern California with my absolutely fabtastic husband of 3 years. We’ve been trying to have a baby pretty much as long as we’ve been married. More than two years of struggling with fertility issues has changed me in crazy ways. Yet, I choose to persevere. For it is in the ‘mere’ act of living that we choose life, don’t we? As each day brings us new challenges, my wonderful husband and I devise crafty ways of overcoming those challenges. For we know that one day when our baby is in our arms and all this is behind us, we will be thankful, so thankful that we did not give up.

This blog is my place to vent. I do not know anyone going through this stuff and I need badly to be able to talk about it. So… welcome! Get a cup of tea (not coffee!), put up your feet and feel free to cyber-wade through my addled world 🙂


14 thoughts on “About

  1. Thanks for following me and saying hi! My husband is Indian as well. I just read that you have had some embryos to freeze. That’s fantastic! I hope that one or more will result in babies for you.

    • Hi there… thanks for writing! Yes, I do have some frozen embies but they’re all day 1 embies right now so we’ll see how many make blasts! Further, the tricky bit is that my first IVF all my blasts were chromosomally abnormal… to try get some normals in there we’re doing a second round of IVF in Jan and batch testing all the embryos made. Praying desperately that this works! Wishing you truckloads of luck as well :))

  2. Enjoy your blog…may I ask if the month before…did you take testesterone and progesterone with the estrogen? Good news for you…good luck!

  3. Thanks…I hope all goes VERY well for you. I have two frozen embryos…just day one( is that even an embryo?)…after four IVFs…they have a long way to go…enjoy your life and stay positive…sincere best wishes. I think they give me too much medicine…don’t get the need for the testerone ….but whatever. Xx

  4. Just popping in on your parallel journey through CCRM-CCS! Wishing and wishing for a successful FET after your Lupron-induced crazy train 🙂 I’m so scared to take mine out of their safe haven in the freezer that everything is kind of rumbling around in purgatory, so I’ll be watching your journey closely…maybe for a dose of courage.

    • Thanks much!! I know what you mean though… this phase has been as close to happiness as I’ve got in our TTC journey with hope hanging out in a freezer somewhere in Colorado! Getting closer to FET means knowing… and knowing sometimes seems too much to handle! I’m excited and terrified at the same time! Wishing you oodles of luck as well… do you have a date?

      • No, right now I’m just trying to get my head screwed on straight so I can approach the next step from a balanced place, come what may.

  5. Muddy feelings..how many one day embryos made it to five day and then tested normal..if you don’t mind my asking.
    Me..no headway ..on cyst break.

  6. Oh how wonderful for you. Over five cycles I have only two one day fertilized embryos. I am 33 and my numbers are not horrid…but I certainly make no more than one follicle … Lupron didn’t work for me….was disastrous….Can’t CCS test till I get six embryos to make it to five day blasts…maybe in 2020…! In the meantime I will hope for the laughter of little ones in your near future. Not prepping until I get the go ahead..it’s ok..the cyst is big…I’ve learned to live …not live happily…but live with all this. I sincerely…really..hope your dreams come true. …good luck..keep me posted…I actually love to hear great news ..Count your blessings and enjoy the ride.

    • I’m sorry you’ve had it so rough… five cycles is a lot to take. I really hope things work out for you… and soon! Thank you so much for all the warm wishes… much appreciated!

  7. I just stumbled upon your blog and I so relate to what you are going through. Our experiences are similar – although I am older than you(2 natural IUI’s, and I am currently on my 2nd IVF, actually 2 week wait). We did end up freezing embryos due to a large fibroid on outside of uterus. To operate or not? I am now faced with the same surgery that you had. I am glad the surgery was succesful for you. I know it is a big decision – one I am not so sure I want to make. Any advice?

    • Hi there… I know only too well how hard it is to make the call for or against surgery. I was lucky; I had a brilliant surgeon who gave me all the time in the world to decide. My intramural fibroid was pretty big though, it had swollen up my uterus to the size of a four month pregnancy and we tried TTC at the time but it didn’t work. I used all these as factors to decide. Also, I was in very good hands. My doctor was just amazing. Where do you live? If in the US, I would highly recommend getting a consult with him. His name is Dr. William Parker and he’s located in LA. He will tell you whether you need a surgery or not. Feel free to email me at beebsishere2012ATgmailDOTcom if you want to talk more. I would love to help in any way I can. Good luck!

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