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Sun-kissed days… make my troubles seem so far away!

I wake up with a start. Something seems off. I look up and see azure sky with a few idle specks of cottony cloud. I’m not in my room, I realize. I’m at the beach! I’m in Cabo!

The weather seems to have been concocted to perfection -sunny, warm and breezy. We walk into the water, K and I. It feels so cool, an inviting liquid bliss. There’s fishes everywhere, some striped, others with yellow tails. They swim around us, generously letting us share their playground. We play with the tide, giggling uncontrollably each time a wave knocks one of us down. The hot sand scorches our feet as we race back to where we laid out our beach towels.

Later, we hang out in the pool. It’s Taco Tuesday and we’re ravenous! We wolf down fish and chicken and steak tacos and drink fruity beverages (mocktail for me!) decorated with lemon slices. We lean against the edge of the infinity pool and stare out into the formidable Pacific, at the famous arches where it meets the Sea of Cortez. A tiny dot in a magnificent universe. That’s what we are.

In our room we lie side by side, laughing over inane jokes that are our own brand of funny! He messes up my  hair, I tickle him till he begs forgiveness. It’s so wonderfully ordinary. We’ve missed ordinary so much.

I don’t forget. I can’t forget. I take my Lupron shots, I dutifully change my patches every other day. I’m aware of each day getting us closer to the day we have been waiting for. I can’t wait for that day to come. Yet, I cherish the preciousness that today is.

I know that hope can be a chameleon, changing color when least expected. I know fate can turn traitor. But I won’t let worry taint my dreams anymore. For, as of now, I’m living one of them 🙂

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View from our room!

View from our room!

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Here we go!

I’m just two days shy of starting my FET meds. Excited, very excited but also scared. I’ve packed in a lot into the next three weeks to ensure I don’t go batshit crazy! Coming up first in line is a long overdue vacation in Cabo!

Just the anticipation of four days with K spent luxuriating on a Mexican beach, unadulterated by the cacophony of everyday-ness has thrown me into a right tizzy. I’ve spent this whole week prepping for the trip like an excited teenager headed for spring break! Some new clothes have been bought, legs have been waxed, eyebrows threaded and hair will be cut tomorrow… I’m all set to seduce my husband, hot flashes notwithstanding!

Speaking of which, shouldn’t they be done by now? It seems in the past few days alone they’ve doubled in intensity; I now break out into a sweat like every 15-30 minutes! Nights are simply insufferable and the recent heat wave we’re having in Nor-cal does not help things one bit. The fact that no walls have been punched and no objects have been broken is a testament to my growing inner zen-ness 😉

My first lining check is the very next day after we’re back! My nurse told me today that Dr. S has started doing early lining checks for his patients so that if there are any issues there is more time to tweak the meds and hopefully resolve things. Makes sense to me; I only wonder why they didn’t think of it before!

So that’s where we’re at, all ready to jump off this cliff with the assumption (or desperate hope!) that we’ll be able to swim to safety upon landing. Let the fun begin 🙂