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How did I get here?

Me, the DOR girl, also known as ‘poor responder’ … how did I go from that to a possible OHSS case with a day 10 e2 of 7100?! This cycle has totally taken us by surprise. I have been responding fast and my estrogen has been rapidly escalating. Yesterday Dr S opted to coast me for a night to try get the e2 under control (it had surged from 3200 to 5400 between days 8 & 9!!) but it ended up increasing even more. I am triggering tonight but he has canceled the HCG trigger (no sore bum yay!) opting instead for a double lupron trigger and I will be taking cabergoline starting tonight and injecting cetrotide for four nights starting the night of retrieval to prevent OHSS.

I have no idea what to feel. Mostly, I am just nervous (and super bloated & sore). I hope the retrieval goes well and I hope I don’t end up getting hyper-stimulated. Good wishes/ prayers much appreciated 🙂

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The long weekend that became a week long!

How was everyone’s Labor Day weekend? Well you’re about to find out how mine was! As I mentioned in the last post, non-medicated IUI was what we had decided for this month and that’s what we did. The u/s on CD 11 showed 3 strong follies at 17, 17 and 18mm with the doc refusing to believe I wasn’t on injectables (go acupuncture!!) and we were asked to BD that night and trigger the night of CF 12. On a side note, it will never cease to be amusing for me to get instructions on when the spouse and I should be getting naughty!

The trigger shot was causing me a huge amount of anxiety… I am dead scared of needles and the only way I survive getting so many pricks (I’ve got a record number this year) is simply by squeezing my eyes shut and refusing to open them till the band-aid has been applied. The pain I can handle; the sight of needle penetrating skin-NOT! Hence it was left to the husband to do the deed. We got some pretty rad instructions from the pharmacist and looked up videos but preparing the medicine was the most nerve wracking thing ever. I have no clue how doctors trust their patients to do this stuff! I managed to inject the diluant into the powder but then the damn mixture refused to get re-injected into the needle. I went into panic overdrive but the spouse totally played the winner as he not only managed to do what I couldn’t but also injected me so smooth I couldn’t feel a thing! The IUI itself went very well; doc was certain I was ovulating and said she got a clear shot at my cervix (yayy!). We went back home happy and took a nap to celebrate (it had been an early morning!).

Trouble came knocking in the evening. First it was just this sore feeling in the tummy that became progressively worse and turned into a raging stomach ache that had my curled up fetal style and screaming for my mommy! I couldn’t move, I couldn’t breathe it was like someone had bashed up my insides with a baseball bat and, for added effect, taken a few shots at my back too. To make things prettier I puked up all my dinner. DH called doc and was told I likely have mild OHSS which will take a few days to go away. Wonderful! I drank tons of Gatorade as told and rested (couldn’t move if I’d tried!). The next few days the pain did get better (that was without doubt the worst pain of my life! Worst!) and I got an u/s to make sure things were okay. Doc said ovaries were slightly swollen but nothing to worry about.

The days after the checkup, the abdominal cramping went away and so did the terrible back ache. However I had a recurrent fever and this crazy bitch of a pain in the back of my head which felt like someone had taken pincers and was pulling at my nerve and releasing it. It would go away for a while but then come back. Tylenol would help bring the fever down but it drew the line at the pain (Tylenol to me: “sorry buddy this bitch ain’t my thing!”).

So today is day 6piui and I feel better without a doubt. Temp was normal in the morning and so far the bitch ache has stayed away. Fingers crossed!

One thing the docs did warn me about is that in case I get pregnant this cycle the OHSS type symptoms are likely to reappear. Sweet.

It’s been painful, it’s been lonely and it’s been miserable. My husband has, as always rallied around me but this time we both anew felt the ache of not having any family (or good friends) around us. That’s why I had started this blog. So I could vent here and be brave for him. But sometimes I wonder if anyone even reads it. If the reading stats are actual people or just some digital bots who clearly wouldn’t give a damn about babies!

So… if you’re reading this and you’re human… say hello! It would mean the world to me.